If we'll look back over the past week's posts, we'll see all of the ways that I have tried to cope with my dad's birthday. Facials, days off, staying busy. In the past, when I have become stressed out, I end up sick. It would happen in school with finals. It would happen at work as soon as I got on vacation. And it has now happened again.

The previous Friday, I asked my mom to look at my throat, as it felt weird. She said, "Honey, you have an infection." I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that I have an sinus/ear/throat infection. Since I am allergic to every general antibiotic, he put me on what he calls, "The big guns" for 10 days which he also said is like taking normal antibiotics for 20 days. He also said that they will probably throw me for a loop until I get used to them.

And now I'm tired. Whenever I am on meds like this, I just can't shake feeling so tired. I sleep very well though, which is a blessed relief from insomnia and helps to really heal.

As I'm sitting here, I'm now wondering why I thought that writing this post would be helpful. Mostly, besides dancing for some sympathy :), I really wanted to say that sometimes, there just is no way around getting knocked flat on your face. Meditation, planning, being kind to yourself, those are all things that are fine and good. On a daily basis, to take care of ourselves is it's own reward. But then, you can still end up in the place where you did not want to be, and tried so hard to avoid. And then what?

For me, it's more of the same. Even more gentleness, more self care and more experience to think about for the next time. You go on. If you are lucky. Be well.