The last few weeks I have been having troubles sleeping and troubles with controlling my grief about my dad. I had a counselor tell me once that with each new grief, we relive past grief as well. In mourning now, with legal battles unresolved about estate issues, I feel mired in loss. With more hurt and sadness than I ever thought possible from people that my dad trusted and loved. I was at my wit's end on what else to do to try to work through this. And then I remembered Belleruth.

Belleruth Naparstek has a website called www.healthjourneys.com. She offers a variety of products, but is well known for her guided imagery. I have bought so many of her cds for myself and as gifts that I have lost track. In fact, as I am writing this, I am remembering that I bought the cd for stopping smoking for my dad, along with the sleep cd. He also suffered from insomnia his whole life.

Last week I decided to see what she offered for grief and found her Ease Grief cd. I have listened to it almost every night and afternoon since it came in the mail after we got home from our vacation. It is divided into 3 parts: intro; guided imagery; and affirmations. It has helped to relax me just by hearing the music and her voice. I want to admit that I haven't yet listened to the guided imagery portion. I'm scared to for some reason, but know that I will be able to someday. Just listening to the intro calms me, the affirmations give me something to focus on while sleeping and during the day.

The first time that I put the cd in my player, as soon as I heard the familiar opening music, tears flowed. I was so grateful to feel safe enough and cared for enough to cry although I was only listening to instructions.

Belleruth's site also offers infertility; pregnancy and labor cds that I will discuss at a later date. I can vouch for their worth, I've used them all and loaned them to expecting friends. I'll keep you updated on the grief work. I will be ready to listen to the whole thing at some point.