Continuing with the grief list and my personal story with miscarriage, I will be addressing this issue today:

to be unable to do what other women seem easily able to do as a 'natural part of life' and our jealousy and anger of that

My miscarriage was my first experience with troubled pregnancies. In my family history there were many stories about pregnancy and baby loss, but none in my generation. I am the oldest of six kids and out of the first three, I was the last to try to have kids. My brother and... more

From the list of Grief Issues I posted yesterday, I'm going to explore the loss of innocence for future pregnancies.

I didn't understand that this issue would be a problem for me until I got pregnant again and again after my first miscarriage. The starry-eyed wonder and excitement from first finding out that I was pregnant was first replaced with hope, and then in the last pregnancy, extreme fear. The first time that I became pregnant, I couldn't wait to take the pregnancy test. I told myself that I was going to wait until my period was just a few days late. Well, that didn't work out. I got myself into such a frenzy one morning that I drove to the drugstore and came home with... more

I just can't seem to stay away from the New Zealand site, Miscarriage Support Aukland Inc. I have written about it before, in my post Miscarriage at Home. Again, here is the link, miscarriage support.

In their grief section, they offer a lot of issues that are related to miscarriage. I hadn't seen such a comprehensive list as this and will reprint it here:

the loss of the festivities of a joyous birth and perhaps future ones the loss of our dreams for this child and the future our family would have had together - we had made plans for life the loss of being able to call ourselves... more

One of my friends sent me this link to write about for this blog. I think that one of the best qualities you need besides patience while experiencing infertility is to keep your sense of humor. Or to develop your sense of humor as the case may be. This link is laugh out loud funny. And thought provoking. What the heck is going on with those pictures?

MK Carroll created the patern for this uterus doll. And took the accompanying photos.

Human anatomy is pretty amazing, but not always pretty. My interest in anatomy coupled... more

Searching for more fertility articles on the Health magazine website, I came across a small mention for Conception Curve. What??

It has been recommended by fertility doctors that women elevate their hips after intercourse to help with conception by using gravity. This is now where the makers of Conceptioncurve come in. They have designed a pillow that will raise your hips and elevate your legs comfortably. Seeing the photos along with the ad on their website shocked me. I didn't realize that you were supposed to raise them that high!

The cost is what really threw me. $59.95 plus $15.00 for shipping and handling seems pretty steep to me. But who am I to judge... more

There weren't many times during our trying to conceive our kids that I didn't want to be pregnant. But those times did come about, oftentimes unexpectedly. Our current conditions are definately not conducive to being pregnant, or largely pregnant for that matter. Why? It is now about 7 pm and it is still 100 degrees! The low for tonight will be 69. Miserable.

I gave birth to my daughter in mid-September. So I was largely pregnant during that summer. We did not experience weather like this during those months, but I was sooo hot that I couldn't believe it. I would lay on our cool leather couch, or in our darkened bedroom in our central air equipped home. I was worried... more

I was reading an old post today in the blog DI Dad. He is the father to two children that were conceived using a donor. His site brought my attention to the post that I wrote yesterday. As I was catching up with my reading, which in this case, I decided to go from current to past posts, I read about a question that he posted to his readers. Here goes:

Terminology request: I am getting tired of writing "the mom of my kids' half sibling". Is there an anacronym (misp?) out there that has ben created for this purpose already? I don't want to use her real name and making up a pseudonym seems funny as readers will say "who is that?". Amazing how science also affects... more

Yesterday an announcement was made by S. Edmond El Dabe that a client of his is suing Pacific Reproductive Services in San Francisco, claiming that the center videotaped him while he was masturbating. The man discovered a camera in the ceiling of the center and then complained. Employees then refused to call the police when the man demanded that they do so. http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/portlet/article/html/fragments/print_article.jsp?article=4072673

Add this to the... more

I was reading today trying to catch up on the stack of old Sunday New York Times. There were only a couple of issues in the stack, but since the paper is so large the task looked more daunting than it really was. Last night I picked through the articles separating out the ones that I would read as I got around to them today. The stack had become a recent playground for the recently very mobile Bec and I knew that after I had picked it up out of his drooly hands for about the 20th time, it was time to jump in.

An article that I had set aside was titled, "Confession of Choice" by Kathryn Rhett. Rhett writes about her pregnancies the wanted and the unplanned and her reactions to both.... more

Today I met with a group of friends to have an art day. I do this on a regular basis with different women to enjoy the inspiration, support and conversation. Creating on your own can be a quiet affair, creating with others has an energy all of its own.

My friend J.N. and I are hosting a collaborative art journal swap beginning in August. The women that I met with today are part of that group as well. We discussed our fears about being intimidated and not good enough as artists to contribute anything of worth to the group. As we were discussing different art techniques, different ideas and how we create our art, I kind of checked out a bit, just smiling to myself to be a part of... more