This morning I came into my office and on my desk was a very sweet ornament made for me by my aunt. My sister and mom also had one each. I will try to accurately describe what it looks like.

It is a clear ornament with a small amount of gold tinsel tucked inside. I would say approximately 10 strands, just enough to get it sparkly. Also tucked inside is a very small white feather. Attached to the hook part of the ornament is a handmade tag of red construction paper. On the tag is another white cut out with decorative scissors. On the tag is then printed... more

helping someone after a miscarriage

Seven helpful things to say

"I'm so sorry about your Miscarriage." These simple words mean a lot, especially if you allow the Mum or Dad to talk further, or not to talk, as they wish.

"I know how much you wanted that baby." Here you are simply acknowledging that something precious has been lost, and opening a door to talk more.

"It's okay to cry." - this can sound like Hollywood but it's reassuring for the Mum or Dad to know they are not being judged for their tears and sadness.

"Can I call you back next week to see how you are doing?" Often people are sympathetic the first time, then never mention... more

A few weeks ago I received a letter through the network, asking about a very awkward situation. This gal is such a sweetie. She and her best friend were both pregnant at the same time. Her friend has recently lost her pregnancy and now the still pregnant friend is wondering the best way to support her grieving friend. Wow! I am very humbled to see how thoughtful this woman is trying to be. A true friend. I will be posting parts of my response here this week, and also some other resources as well. I'm also opening up the lines for anyone who has been on either... more

I was checking in with my blog faves and read the following from Julia at they might be hipposgrifs. Here is her post:

12 Dot Over I had an ultrasound this afternoon with my OB. I was saddened (but not particularly shocked) to see that the fetbryo no longer has a heartbeat. It had grown a lot since last week so we assume that it must have died in the past day or so.

So.

Well.

Yes.

I feel quite peaceful, actually. The uncertainty of the past week was very hard for me. Hoping and yet hopeless, I felt utterly drained and panicky and ... and just AWFUL. I know where we are now and... more

I remind myself of the things living and breathing around me and that they are good. And I remind myself of something my mother told me, which she had recently learned from her rabbi. He told her that in Jewish tradition, the cultural tradition of my family, it is discouraged for a woman who has had miscarriages to think of her children's lives as being shortened by death. In fact, he added, a woman who has lost a child in pregnancy is considered to be extrememly wise. For inside of herself she has contained the very circle of life.

Wow. Instead of being weird, an outcast, or unnatural, the woman who miscarries is considered wise. This is a concept that... more

During the time of my first miscarriage, I was shocked by how little information I knew about the process of miscarrying and how little information was given to me by the medical community. I really wish that I would have access to this site at that time. I can see myself being able to feel informed and somewhat capable to read my symptoms on my own.

The page from Miscarriage Support Aukland Inc is titled Miscarriage at Home. It lists many helpful facts about what to possibly expect and how to respond to your miscarriage. The support group is written for New Zealand and the phrasing is a little bit different, but I really found this to be reassuring, even after the fact. If any... more