In 2002 December 4th was going to be my due date with our first baby. I miscarried about 10 weeks along so we never made it to that special delivery day. Yet, every year, I think about our baby and remember the joy of being pregnant. I also remember the extreme sorrow when we lost him. (I write "him" although I have no proof besides how I felt when I was carrying him. I thought for sure that our baby was a boy.)

The first year of loss I had a princess day with one of my best girlfriends. We both took the day off from work, got manicures and pedicures and went to lunch. It wasn't sad, we stayed busy to not think about it too much. I remember getting in the car that day and Chris... more

More from www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz

helping someone after a miscarriage

Don'ts

Don't ignore her because you feel helpless or uncomfortable with grief - she will wonder if what happened to her means nothing to you.

Don't think that miscarriage is easier to cope with than a stillbirth or neonatal death. The truth is that her baby has just died, and it doesn't really matter how pregnant she was. Don't be anxious or embarrassed about making her cry. It is not what you said or did that upset her, but losing the baby. By allowing her to cry, you are helping her work through the process... more

These ideas are from www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz

Things to do

~Contact is important. Be there if possible, but if not, ring or write. Whatever the person is feeling, they deserve to have their feelings supported by people around them. ~A hug or arm around her shoulders is comforting. ~Understand that her tears are a healthy response and should never be discouraged. Having a box of tissues handy is helpful. ~Let her do the talking. Be the passive partner who asks questions... more

I have been lucky or unlucky enough (you can think of it either way) to have experienced both sides of this coin. The woman that I am writing about today is not the same woman as yesterday. Yesterday I reprinted the first part of my letter, and now here is the second. Thank you so much to you know who you are for writing to me. Everyone seems to really get into this topic and has much to share.

Now, on the flip side. While I was pregnant with my daughter, one of my > best friends lost her son. Our due dates were close as well, only a couple of weeks apart. Again, it > was very uncomfortable. First off, no one wanted to tell me, due to my > history... more

These are also from www.beliefnet.com in their daily prayers section under Christianity. There are other religions represented as well, as the Fertility Prayer was from the Catholic section from yesterday. I wish that I would have been more pro active in looking for prayers to help me through this time. Hopefully, these prayers will not be needed by you or a loved one, but if so, please pass them on if you feel that it is appropriate.

Prayer for a Woman Who Has Had a Miscarriage

O God of love, source of life, hear our prayers for _____. Her baby died before it ever came to birth. The blessing... more

Keeps Me Thinking Blogging for this site about fertility, infertility and adoption, always has my mind in a whirl. I haven't been in classes for a while, yet my blog has given me an opportunity to educate myself in different ways that I never would have explored on my own. I am already addicted to magazines, so this one source for articles was tapped in my spare time. As for the rest, I give thanks to google. Offering My Story/OpinionMy miscarriages and recovery were turning points in my life. They were some of the most traumatic and painful events that I had ever experienced. It took me a long time to be able to open up and share these events... more

I was reading an article today about recurrent miscarriages. In this article one of the experts is quoted as saying,

Dr. Stephanie Rhone says, "we find a cause for about 60-percent of our couples that we see. About 40-percent of our couples have unexplained recurrent loss, either because of bad luck, random losses or because there's something underlying. We haven't been able to discover yet or don't know how to test for."

The wording of "bad luck"... more

During and after my miscarriages, I often wondered what Chris was thinking or feeling. I was the one that was either totally silent or raging with tears and sobs. He was by my side and helpful, but very quiet and not really reserved, but normal. I kept questioning how this could be since we had both lost something that was so dear to us. Although I had went through the physical losses, he was there at every doctor and surgery appointment and actually was in the room when I went through one of my D&Cs. How could we be on such opposite pages? As a matter of fact, we were in separate books altogether.

Weighing in on this subject, I found an article on About.com that addresses this... more

I have friends that are poets. They are published, award-winning, and talented. They meet often to hone their craft and to write. Their words are amazing and the emotions that their poems bring to their readers runs deep. I also write poetry, I am not published or award-winning and I honestly believe that at this time it should stay that way. I do love to read poetry, hopefully the poems do not rhyme as they are not my taste.

After Ivy was born I was looking for a creative outlet that allowed me to express myself in a quick and concise manner. Any... more

Repeat Miscarriage

Using the drugs prednisone, progesterone, aspirin and folate clinicians in Austria have reported success with reducing miscarriages in cases where the reason for repeat miscarriage was unexplained.

Women treated with prednisone, progesterone, aspirin and folate had a considerably higher birth rate than untreated subjects, the investigators report. The overall birth rates were 77 and 35 percent, respectively.

The rates of first-... more