I can honestly say that this retreat and I did not get along for the full twenty minutes. During the times that I was supposed to be focusing on the past, I was thinking about the future or the present. During the times that I was supposed to be thinking about the present, I was thinking about the future. I just couldn't seem to focus my attention on anything besides things that I needed to get done. My mind would race with little details that needed tending to this weekend and also more in advance, everything that needs to be done for next week. Appointments... more

Right Here, Right Now

This retreat was calling to me today. As I have posted earlier this week, we are getting ready for Bec's 3 month visit from his case worker and we are doing small things around the house that have turned out to be a late summer/fall cleaning. Everyday we are snowballing our efforts. On Monday, we had the carpets cleaned. By today, we were putting in new flooring in our bathroom and hallway, and working on getting our second bathroom in working order. All for a meeting that is scheduled for next week!

Step 1: Entering into Retreat: Sit comfortably in an upright position, with back support if you need.... more

Tonight's retreat needed to be fast one. First of all, I didn't have much time to devote tonight to this, since both of the kids are still up and Chris just headed to bed. Lastly, I have someone in my life, actually 2 people who I need to work on forgiving. But I honestly am not ready one bit to even think about forgiveness at this point. I'm still in the thick of the emotion, haven't had the time or the space to think about forgiveness for them at all. In fact, just imagining that I'm thinking about forgiving them, gives me the creeps.

So, since... more

Last night after I wrote here, I took the book, The Bridge of Stars: 365 Prayers, Blessings, and Meditations from Around the World into the tub with me. I randomly skimmed through the different prayers and came to one that I wanted to focus on. This was the prayer that I felt drawn to:

Mention of God Blessed is the spot, and the house. and the place, and the city, and the heart, and the mountain, and the refuge, and the cave, and the valley, and the land,... more

The first retreat that I have decided to do is called, Inspirational Reading. I have had to choose something that holds inspiration for me to do this retreat.

Here are the instructions:

Step 1 Entering into Retreat: For the first three minutes, sit quietly in silence with your reading material close at hand. Breathe quietly. Steps 2 through 5 will take four minutes each. Step 2: Read the piece slowly. this is a different kind of reading, not for speed or content, rather... more

I'm talking all of us! For the rest of the week we will be retreating as needed. What am I talking about? This new obsession of mine titled, 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Your Spirits in Just MInutes a Day with Simple Self-Led Exercises by Rachel Harris, Ph.D. Don't have time to do these? Well, guess what? There are also 5 and 1 minute retreats as well.

When I need a retreat, I have a pajama day. I haven't had a full one of these in forever. Before the kids, I would take pajama weekends! I really needed these times while recovering from D&C... more

Every autumn our city hosts our central state fair. I have been every single year since I was a baby and look forward to going again and again. I love the weather, the smells, the sounds, the people and don't even get me started on the food.

Anyhow, in our large activities center there are vendors that sell all kinds of products which is where my mom bought my heat pack for me many years ago. This thing has all but replaced the teddy bear of my childhood in terms of comfort. At one of the vendor booths, my mom purchased a cow print flax seed pillow that you can microwave to heat up. I've had to replace the flax seed many times, and I can't believe that it hasn't ever made it... more

I know that you are just hanging on the edge of your chair to find out how I coped on Saturday, when I wanted to do and see and speak absolutely nothing. A busy day was planned and I was on my own with the kids.

Well, I improvised! Flew by the seat of my pants and took it minute by minute until I could make it hour by hour. Chris would be home around 5, so I just had to hold it together until then.

Here is a suggestion from Jennifer Louden:

A Whole Day Isn't Necessary (Although It Is Nice) You don't have to hide for an entire day. An hour or two on a Saturday morning, leaving work early, skipping a dinner party you didn't want to go to...The... more

On Saturday as I was getting up out of bed, I could tell that as soon as I put my feet on the floor, it was the wrong side of the bed. The night before had been sprinkled with both kids waking up at different times needing different things. On this day, Chris had to work a half day. Then he was golfing with family from out of town. I had a funeral and a festival to go to. The only thing that I wanted to do was go back to bed and hide out. Needless to say, that didn't happen with two kids with their own agendas, an out of the house husband and appointments to keep.

I... more

I'm reading this book called eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. At one point while going through a horrible divorce, she writes about asking herself a "radical" new question, "What do you want to do, Liz?"

Most of the time (still so troubled from bailing out of my marriage) I didn't even dare to answer the question, but just thrilled privately to its existence. And when I finally started to answer, I did so cautiously. I would only allow myself to express little baby-step wants. Like: I want to go to a Yoga class. I want to leave this party early, so I can go home and read a novel. I want to buy myself a new pencil box. Then there would... more