Last evening, I was very emotionally angry at my team of choice for losing a rival game. Most of the family was hiding out, trying to stay away from me until I calmed down. Every year I tell Chris that this rival game is one that I should watch alone, but he never listens and then I feel bad because I banish myself to the small television in the bedroom so the kids don't hear my mouth. Most of the time though I don't catch myself in time, realize what filth is coming out of my mouth and then get away from the family too late.

Still stewing after the final score, I was standing in the kitchen drinking apple juice out of the bottle and there was a knock on the door. I thought that... more

Yesterday, I listed some of the benefits of journal keeping. Today I will be listing some ways to start keeping your journal and also some helpful hints about approaching your journal time.

I have a lot of different journals going at one time. I have a desk top journal that helps as a calendar, list maker and general place for all of my scattered thoughts while I am working. There are quotes that I love, angel cards that I have drawn for a certain day, and random order numbers and tracking numbers from the internet. This has also served as my dream journal, as it is the most accessible of my journals and ready to be written in in the early morning hours.

I also keep an... more

I took a journaling workshop at our local cancer care center while my dad was sick and getting chemo. Last night I came across one of the handouts from the instructor, who is also a close friend. It has some great info in it and I thought that I would share it with you all. Journaling through the stress of his illness, and the grief of his death has been helpful to keep my head on straight. Any type of infertility stress can also benifit from journaling.

Journaling In earlier generations it was common to keep a diary or a personal journal. However, today few people do it and very few recognize the value and astonishing power of keeping a journal.

A... more

I'm wondering if I'm in the majority on this? Before I knew that I wanted kids, I used to be addicted to the TLC show "A Baby Story". It was so precious and fairy tale like that I would get sucked in and spend so much time watching and enjoying it. I even remember taping episodes as well. The feel good aspect of the show was addictive.

Enter infertility. And pregnancy. And new mommyhood.

I despised this show with such a vengance while I couldn't conceive and miscarried. I would try to watch from time to time and was so upset with watching... more

Continuing on with my blogging reasons:

Connections with Others Being able to send people to my blog to keep up with dad's treatments, etc. was very rewarding. Instead of having to retell the same emotional story over and over, spending my sanity with every telling I was able to keep everyone informed through the written word. It was also helpful that everyone could access the info at once. Instead of having to think about who to call first, I knew that I could blog at 3 in the morning if I needed to and everyone would get the same... more

A situation has come up recently where my jealous feelings have once again emerged. Jealousy was a huge part of my life while I was dealing with my miscarriages, and I would hide in the face of it. I was ashamed. I was lonely and outside of many social situations (ie, baby showers) that I would have loved to enjoy if I could have put my jealous feelings aside. This time, as my jealousy became apparent, I decided to look into ways of dealing with it a little better.

I found a page on allaboutlifechallenges.org. Here were their suggestions that made sense to me:

Develop independence.... more

Here is a woman that I would love to meet! I first heard about her through an article put out by ScienceDaily.com. The title of the article is "Easing The Anxiety Of Pregnancy After Miscarriage". Although Cote-Arsenault's research is a little too late for my first experiences (and possibly, only experiences)with fertility, I am still so impressed by her work. It is validating my experience in retrospect.

For some pregnant women, however, feeling joy is a psychological luxury they can't afford. These are women who after one, sometimes many, miscarriages, stillbirths or newborn deaths, are pregnant again. To protect themselves from another potential crushing... more