Continuing on with my blogging reasons:

Connections with Others Being able to send people to my blog to keep up with dad's treatments, etc. was very rewarding. Instead of having to retell the same emotional story over and over, spending my sanity with every telling I was able to keep everyone informed through the written word. It was also helpful that everyone could access the info at once. Instead of having to think about who to call first, I knew that I could blog at 3 in the morning if I needed to and everyone would get the same... more

Thinking about the ending of one of my favorite blogs, I started to think about beginnings. If I can come up with reasons to end a blog, can I also think up reasons to begin one? Here are the top ten reasons why I keep a blog.

Documentation The first blog that I started was my personal blog a couple of years ago. We had just realized how sick my dad really was and I knew that I would want to document the journey of our family into the illness of cancer. I knew that my mind wouldn't be as sharp as usual, wouldn't remember details later on, and I wanted to have some sort of record to look back on during this time, so later on I could look back and possibly... more

A situation has come up recently where my jealous feelings have once again emerged. Jealousy was a huge part of my life while I was dealing with my miscarriages, and I would hide in the face of it. I was ashamed. I was lonely and outside of many social situations (ie, baby showers) that I would have loved to enjoy if I could have put my jealous feelings aside. This time, as my jealousy became apparent, I decided to look into ways of dealing with it a little better.

I found a page on allaboutlifechallenges.org. Here were their suggestions that made sense to me:

Develop independence.... more

(A better image is located at the end of the post)

I'm not sure how specific I can get in sharing my parents' story about their stillborn daughter, my older sister, 36 years ago. I know that I did get permission from my mother to post this copy of her memorial grave marker to you all.

I was leaving one job, driving to another job on Monday when my mom and I passed each other on the road. We both pulled over, and she walked to my car window and said, "Look at what we are doing for your dad's birthday." (The "we" meaning all of us.) In her... more

I am remembering today the first time that I came in contact with an actual female that had been pregnant and close to my age. I was in 8th grade and although I want to say that it was in Health class, I really think that it was in Home Ec class. These moms were invited to talk to us students about teen pregnancy. I don't remember any of the lessons leading up to the discussion. I do remember what one of them told us.

The girl was petite and very pretty. She came into class with a group of others and a teacher from the alternative school where they were offered child care for their baby. Towards the end of the class time we were all laughing and talking about life after having... more

I keep a cd version of Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes in the car for when I can't tolerate music. It is almost as soothing as someone reading to you at night time. Calming during traffic, and it has the added benefit of making me feel like I'm multitasking while driving.

One of the lines that struck me tonight as I was driving home from an errand, was this, "They all agree, Italy is not what it used to be." Then she goes on to ask, "What is?" and I have to agree with her. What is as it used to be? Hardly anything that I can put my finger on.

Bringing this around to fertility, I am reminded of an afternoon with my Nana when we were talking about her children.... more

My beautiful cousin in law, Jenn sent this to me this weekend. It was so touching and so beautifully told, I thought that you guys might like to check out the story and the site Storypeople.

After reading the story, there are places for people to comment so be sure to read those as well. You can spend quite a bit of time browsing the site and getting... more

I was reading today trying to catch up on the stack of old Sunday New York Times. There were only a couple of issues in the stack, but since the paper is so large the task looked more daunting than it really was. Last night I picked through the articles separating out the ones that I would read as I got around to them today. The stack had become a recent playground for the recently very mobile Bec and I knew that after I had picked it up out of his drooly hands for about the 20th time, it was time to jump in.

An article that I had set aside was titled, "Confession of Choice" by Kathryn Rhett. Rhett writes about her pregnancies the wanted and the unplanned and her reactions to both.... more

This whole past week I had been telling Chris that I thought that I was coming down with a bladder infection. It would just cross my mind every once in a while, not really asking or demanding my full focus. Until Tuesday night. Then the thought was front and center, screaming to be noticed. I went in to the doctor the next morning and started antibiotics that afternoon.

Once again dealing with the pain of the infection, I started wondering about my thought processes lately, and if I was physically playing out something that needed attention mentally. Which lead me to think about something that I have been hanging on to, and not letting go of.

Every time I got these infections... more

At times of intense transition in my life, my body's choice of reaction is to get sick with a bladder infection. I think that it is my physical self's way to bring my awareness back to how I have been caring for myself. I have had so many of these, that now almost as soon as I can feel the symptoms of the infection, it moves right along the path to a kidney infection.

Some circumstances in my life that have surrounded these infections have been: the endings of long-term, serious relationships miscarriages D&C's (this when I suffered from the infections the most) pregnancy (early, mid, and very pregnant) moving graduations

While suffering... more