I saw this documentary about birth mothers and adoptees at an adoption conference, and Sheila Ganz, the film maker and birth mother spoke afterward. She also attended my presentation on work with birth mothers in Korea, and she thanked me for sharing "our" (i.e., birth mothers') stories. During my book tour, which took me all around the nation, more than once, after a reading I'd be approached by a woman who wanted to "come out" to me as a birth mother. Often, I was the first person they had ever told.

I was honored that they would do that, and also, somewhat surprised... more

This article from the New York Times was of interest as a counterpart for my post on the Business of Fertility.

Yes, it is a business and yes, it is woefully unregulated. Just anecdotally, I feel that some people I know who've undergone fertility treatments often seem to have an alarming rate of reproductive systems cancers, and I can't help wondering if the gigantic pushes of hormones have something to do with it. Sometimes I wonder if people get too fixated on the goal of a live child and don't... more

Who would have known that one of my uterine misfires/miscarriages, would put me smack dab in the abortion debate? I'm not going to get into personal politics here, but I need to rant on the "Eh, you can just put your baby up for adoption," that I hear from the anti-choice camp, which is a counterpoint to the "Eh, you can always just adopt," that one inevitably hears in fertility circles.

It's the "just" that gets me. As if adoption... more

We recently had a leak in the bathroom of our old house (the bathroom of our office from which I write this), and we called a plumber. He banged away while I worked, and he did a wonderful job.

Now, imagine if, before he came, and instead of minding my own business, I took it upon myself to learn all about plumbing, looked over his shoulder as he worked, and questioned his every move? Seems like kind of antisocial aberrant behavior, right?

Okay, now transplant this into the medical setting, the white coats and fancy equipment, the years and years of medical school, the scary... more

"What's the difference between a doctor and God?"

Answer: "God doesn't think He's a doctor."

The world of medicine can be bewildering and frightening for the civilian who is not a health professional. Doctors speak in their own language (which is devised, specifically, so that patients don't know what's going on--a lot of it's just Latin), they wear special clothes, they have years and years of special training. My mom, when we were sick and felt like vomiting, used to force us to dress in our Sunday best if we were ever going to see a doctor; the respect and awe was... more

Kathy, a visitor to the Fertilityblog, left this excerpt of a very thoughtful comment:

This is an infertility blog, so adoption issues may feel pre-mature to some of you. But it really isn't. The emotional part of "Infertility Wars" is challenging. Embrace it! Don't fight it! The more honest you are with your feelings about your infertility, the better you'll be at parenting. It strengthens you and helps you grow into a wiseness that will aid you as you go through life, let alone the road to parenting.

Frankly, I've said a million times (much... more

Did you know that This report states that only 11% of the 10,500 (often industrial) ingredients in cosmetics have been evaluated for safety.

Health conscious teens toss makeup

The Biological clock???

This is kind of an interesting finding, especially in light of the standard biological knowledge that most organisms (e.g., fruit flies) start to die after they have reproduced.

It also seems to suggest that parenting at an older age keeps you on your toes, physiologically, and may stave off certain degenerative conditions such as Alzheimer's and ... oh, I can't remember. Just kidding!

Hm, maybe we older women age like fine wine :)

From the Telegraph... more

I currently don't wear makeup because

I'm lazy It's expensive I think my face actually looks kind of ok the way it is

Confession: I did go through a phase in high school where I'd get up at the crack of dawn to paint on a face, Picasso-like, from a huge case of cosmetics that looked like a tackle box.

In any event, reading about all the toxins, chemicals, and xenobiotics has been kind of freaking me out. Occasionally, I have to do TV appearances, and the camera people always flip out when I show up bare-faced,... more

At some later time, I will "get into" my very twisted fertility journey, but for now, let me start with my friend's :).

My best childhood friend had these strange symptoms--sudden attacks of digestive problems, awful awful cramps for which she needed to stay in bed for extended periods. She had an interesting family situation, so I remember our little group hanging out with her, bringing her and waiting at endless doctor's appointments. And when she'd have another bad attack, we'd bring her to the Emergency Room, or urge her to see her doctor, and wait wait wait again. She never... more